Lived2Devil

Mum never fails to drive me to the wall. Boils up to my neck.

If there's anything she's good at, then it has got to be driving her kids mad.

Her 2 sons left her. Smart. Who wouldn't? Given her behaviour every month and year end with probings of monetary issues. Only ME. ME, the STUPID one who chosed to take care of her, if its not for dad.

Frankly, I'm not ashamed to wash my dirty linens in public. I'm pissed. People who knows me long enough knows that I have a uber materialistic mum in the gallaxy.

None of the love she gave is enough to diminish the thought of hating her.

*****

(Mum: comes into my room and makes herself comfortable on my bed, something which she never does. Other than trying to dig some gold outta her daughter.)

(Me: Rolls eyes. Sensed trouble. "We are so in for a quarrel, mummy dearest">> I knew that even before she opens her mouth. Action speaks. Like how a cat raises it's tail when it's preparing to attack.)

She: 你们的公司没有bonus的meh?

(Ya, like I'm stupid enough to tell you anything at all)

Me: 不是每一个公司都有的。

She: 这么奇怪的 (trying to fish things out from her -i-outwit-you-so-much, mum- daughter)

She: 那么AWS应该有的嘛。

She: 很好笑hor。

Me: 你不相信可以去问别人。

She: 没有。。。我只是问问而已。

(Yeah, right.)

Me: *Quiet*

She: *Pushes me to my brim again* Then increment leh? 有没有？

Me: *Nods*

She: *Excited* 加多少？

Me: 薪水的东西，不要问我，我不爱回答。。。

She: 连家人都不可以讲meh？做摩， 怕我拿你的钱啊?

(Ok, I seriously wanna agree with you and say even nastier words. But I still love you as a mum. So, period)

Me: 我一路来都是这样的。

She: *Finally gets into the main topic* 如果我不做工，和我的同事去中国， 你 sponsor 我要吗？

(Uh-huh! See, the cat is finally out of the bag. Boy that took long, mummy dearest)

Me: *Immediately shook my head*

She: 需要酱快摇头的meh？

(Ahberden...)

Me: 要多少？$100？ $200？

She: 你给我的感觉你很绝情。。。

(That's it. You crossed my line, woman)

And the quarrel starts.....which I don't have the strength to elaborate.

(1) She NEVER understands how much I've done for the family.

(2) She WILL NEVER understand how I'm carrying the burden like a man does.

(3) She NEVER REALISED why her sons left her, till date.

(4) She has NEVER consider I'm saving up for my studies.

(5) She has NEVER knew I cared about the family so much I get into depression.

(6) She DIDN'T know I got myself so many policies just in case if anything were to happen to me, their future has been taken care off.

(7) She WILL NEVER understand I love them so much it pains myself.

It's always the kinda bitter sweet, confused feeling towards my mum. Since young. Perhaps it was good I had the rebellious genes in me. Else I'd have been following her orders. From hair cuts all the way to my dressing, then my future. She seemed to have this habit of comparing me with my cousins. Followed some of her advice, goofed my life. Thank god I rebelled, or I'll bear many regrets till the day I die.

Thanks mum...that was just what I needed to worsen my condition. And I'm so happy about it.

Thanks.

Signed,

Your beloved, perplexed daughter