Lived2Devil

I'm upset, I'm seriously upset. What happened at work last week doesn't seemed to end as yet.

Instead, it was doubly shitty today. Dare not even think of what's going to come next, what's in for tomorrow. Nothing good is gonna' come out from them. Surely.

As if its not bad enough.

I'm required to talk. I'm required to communicate. I'm required to co-ordinate. But I just don't feel like interacting with anyone at all. Not today. I wish for an end to such feeling tomorrow.

HOPEFULLY.

I wanna sleep my way through all these.

Those fake smiles and laughter of mine today are unbearable. I had to put on false front just to be "professional". Well, I know my colleagues are equally innocent. But I just am so uncapable to not portray my sulleness infront of them. I seriously am feeling f**ked up. So, f**k me back if you are upset with me and my behaviour or attitute, I'll take it with benevolence.

The air seems still and heavy. Or is it me that can't seems to breathe?

Jinxed wants the best for everyone, everyone she loves. Jinxed loves laughters from others, from all she endears.

She really PRAYED hard for those whom went through miseries (P.S. I'm a buddhist) and wished for their happiness to be built on her sorrows.

I had it coming. From the 1st day of the year, from my very first quarrel, I predicted it like a prophet all-so-divine.

Yeah. I had it coming.

Does anyone remember Jinxed gets vunerable too?

That I share the same emotions as you do?

Or it seems I'm as strong as I seemed?

I wonder. I ponder. I reckon.

P.P.S: I love my room.

• Messy yet I know where to get the things I want.
• Huge 4 door built-in wardrobe which I still find it insufficient.
• 5 mirrors: 2 full lengthed, 1 half lengthed, 1 table, 1 handheld. To remind me how awful I looked.
• Spacious and all, with my solid 70 pocketted-spring queen sized bed.

Falling rain over here, that looked like thousands and thousands droplets of tears. Diminishing my many sweet summers.

Which reminds me I have not weeped at all, in my new bedroom.

Maybe I should. I might. I will. Heart's stained with tears anyway. What more, on my precious bed.

Will someone bring me to my room where I can gladly remove this mask?

For I want no shoulders to cry on, no one to rely on...